What Happend to You?

A thick silence has fallen on this space for quite some time, but I can assure you that things have most certainly not been quiet in the hallways of my heart. Many of these thoughts  have been winding there way through my mind for well over a year. :-)

Like a shadow that follows you in the bright sun light, everywhere I go there is a question that pursues me. I hear it in the curious whispers of children to their parents. I see it in the fixed eyes of strangers as I pass them by. “What happened to you?” They all ache to say, as they see me walking with an uneven gate; my hands holding tightly to two canes in order to steady myself.

I can tell by their eyes that for many their curiosity is accompanied by feelings of concern or pity. There are those who are strongly uncomfortable and strive to keep their distance from me. Some ponder the question inwardly while others make their thoughts more boldly known through an offhanded comment, or an occasional straightforward question.

I acknowledge as I look around, my senses having been fine tuned to the whispers and stares that are so much a part of my walk through this world. Politely, I strive to meet each wondering gaze and remark with a smile, never thinking twice before kindly embrace a question. I want to assure each person that I understand their curiosity and I am by no means offended by their response.

But I must confess, there are times when I wish that I could blend in and not be so plainly noticed. That was certainly the case not too long ago as I was approaching the checkout counter in a department store. I was standing in line when suddenly I was met with a surprising, assuming comment from the cashier. I smiled and gave him a kind, informatively reply, but inside I was shrinking. I wanted to sigh and hang my head low- to somehow just disappear. I'm thankful that God in His abundant  mercy and grace did not allow me to so readily escape my discomfort. Instead He pursued me through it reminding me of the truth.

As I made my way across the parking lot, eager to leave this situation behind, this young man's remarks lingered in my mind, and I heard that still small voice whisper to my heart, “You are mine. I have set you apart to be different to stand out for my sake. 'You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.' ” Matthew 5:14-16

Deep within I know what He says to be true. With my hand held tightly in His grasp, our hearts aligned once again I press on- seeing  more clearly than ever what a privilege it is to bear His light through this life wrapped in the gift of physical limitations. As I ponder that familiar question more deeply I wonder, am I living each day to reflect Christ in such a way that I  make people want to stop in their tracks and consider  'What happened to you?' 

How about you? 

This song speaks clearly to the desire of my heart.

Only By God's  Amazing Grace,

Melissa

Thankful Thursday- Friends

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. The summer sun beat down hard upon the earth and poured through my open window as I scrambled to change my clothes and force my feet into the plastic braces that along with my canes, would be my physical support for the day.

In a combination of anticipation, excitement, and strong apprehension my heart pulsated hard within my chest. This was a day that I had long been preparing and waiting for. In just 3 short hours I would be standing in the company of over 100 other homeschooled seniors from across the country and around the world, who, together with family and friends, were gathering to commemorate high school graduation.

Elation seemed to permeate the air around me, yet my heart was profoundly sad- that for reason beyond my control my parents, who inverted so much into my education over the past four years, were not able to share in this joyous occasion. In those moments I realized that I was going to need much more than just physical support to make it through the day. I paused in the flurry of getting ready to lift my heart in prayer and ask God to somehow carry me through this day.

Little did I know how His answer would come.

With my grandmother, my uncle, and my aunt at my side we made the two hour trip to the school that furnished my curriculum and held my transcripts. Upon our arrival, I made my way through winding hallways and up three flights of stairs to join the rest of the graduating class. The room was humming with conversation as I made  my way through the rows of neatly lined chairs, and past my peers all sitting in caps and gowns of royal blue.

Finding my name on a slip of paper resting on the seat of a chair I took my place among them.  Not long after the chairs on either side of me were being taken by the two young women whose names their seats also held. As they took their places I sat in silence, with nervous sadness surrounding me.

The girl seated at my right introduced herself to me. Softly I greeted her; secretly hoping for no further conversation. But, with great enthusiasm, she continued to talk. Sitting silently I listened, wanting desperately to keep to myself, so that my apprehensions and sadness could not be seen. But, she persisted. In an effort to satisfy her tongue I spoke. It was not long before we were fully engaged in conversation.

As the day wore on, we stuck together and I found myself taking great delight her company. As the ceremony concluded, with caps tossed high,  we had our photo taken together,  and exchanged a hug and contact information before heading our separate ways.

A smile crossed my face as I descended the school steps that  evening  realizing that this beautiful young woman who stood at my right was God’s answer to my prayer.

Little did I know that our meeting was just the beginning of a friendship that has remained strong ever since.

Today as I am just days away from traveling to West Virginia to be reunited with Krystal I thank God for  how He held my fragile heart in His hands that day, and gave me the gift of friendship that would last a lifetime.



2005




2007

 “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

Sustained by God's Grace,

Melissa

My Life

It’s a story I’m not worthy of, but I am grateful to be one God has chosen to make himself known through. Thank you, Kent for using your gift on my behalf.

http://esentialz.blogspot.com/2009/05/esentialz-2-stand.html